Monday, January 29, 2007

Sneaking Up on Me

  • My neighbors invited me over to watch "Unfinished Life" or whatever its called - with Robert Redford after the press knocked on my door about the anniversary of the murders.
  • I got some good work done.
  • Beautiful sunset.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Social Support

  • My neighbors called and invited me over to their place for dinner. Its nice to have this fall back option, and they're great people who I really enjoy spending time with.
  • I had the most amazing date last night.
  • Today there's another study group which will likely really help me focus to get some work done on my thesis.

Saturday, January 27, 2007


  • Multiple options for what to do last night.
  • I can drink white wine now without getting a migraine.
  • I haven't had a migraine in three weeks, which means that I've broken their pattern.
  • I met with my gyn yesterday, who noted that these test results about my non-existent level of estrogen in my blood are actually okay, and that there's probably nothing to worry about.
  • I got all of these comments about the whole Z thing which helped me gain perspective about it.
  • Got massage yesterday where we did some art therapy and visualization. It seems like my back is starting to heal as my heart becomes more light and open.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Another Baby Step

  • Today, I'll meet with the doctor finally and get an explanation about blood work results.
  • My therapist was really helpful in guiding me back to my path last night.
  • I managed to get through the night leaning into what I was feeling instead of trying to cover it up with food or alcohol.
  • I had a Dali Lami DVD on hand from netflix...even though I couldn't understand him and finally figured if I was going to read, I might as well do it from a book, but his voice is very soothing.
  • A couple more pages done on my thesis.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

A Little Relief

  • "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron
  • Lunch with *A*
  • Actually getting some work done
  • The energy of the local coffee shop and that my friends met me there to study with me
  • Help from Romi
  • Waking up today just feeling a little better
  • Walks on the beach at sunset

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Laughter, Starlight, and a Kiss

  • I had a great date last night, even though he's politically a little far to the right for me. But, he made me laugh and feel comfortable and attractive and just a regular person for one night.
  • We kissed under the stars. He's a good foot taller than I am, so I had to be on my tippy toes and bending his knees in order for it to work. Very humorous.
  • Today, I have an acupunture appointment and we're going to work on my feelings re:my aunt.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Connecting With Others

  1. Queer marathon last night. I got a lot of studying done and even some direction from someone who has already written her thesis. I'm going to stop coding and start writing, which I hope gives me a big push.
  2. That when I called up friends who had invited me over to watch the "L Word" and told them that I was with this group of 6 people who wanted to come over also and watch, that they were open and seemed not to mind. (What an awkward situation to have to ask!) But it might turn into a weekly thing.
  3. That feeling of not being alone. A woman last night was going through a sudden breakup where her girlfriend wouldn't talk about anything, and it made me feel better knowing that I wasn't the only one dealing with people in this sort of situation.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

That Was For Friday...This is For Today

  • Neighbors having me over for dinner.
  • Animal control coming over so fast to check out the skunk smell IN my house and that they think that the skunk was just at the vent and not actually in the attic.
  • Having healthy left overs around.
  • Permission from my advisor to take it somewhat easy on myself re: work.

Trying Something New

  1. Guided meditation at the Buddhist center.
  2. Dinner afterwards, which I didn't want to stay for, but everyone was pushing me to stay.
  3. Massage therapy.
  4. Upcoming second date.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Maybe Not the Healthiest

  • Kraft macaroni and cheese
  • Time alone in my home
  • Acupuncture and the talent of my acupunturist in figuring out not only how to get my chi flowing again, but how to stop it from shorting out in the future. Also, her openness in sharing her own story, which gave me hope and let me feel less alone.
  • Having a date on Saturday night

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

What a Little Moonlight Will Do

  1. A very nice first date
  2. Positive feedback from my advisor
  3. Support from Hospice
  4. Actually getting some work done (albeit very little)
  5. Going out for breakfast yesterday with *A*

Sunday, January 14, 2007

With a Little Help

  1. Friends invited me over to watch the "L Word", which gave me a safety net from having to drag *A* over to "The Notebook".
  2. Book club.
  3. Mimosas.
  4. How beautiful my garden is becoming.
  5. That I finally got my heater replaced last year.
  6. That I finally got 5 minutes of work done. Its a start!

Friday, January 12, 2007

For Those Helping Me Take Care of Myself

  1. The massage that I just received from a graduate student in Pscyhology who focuses on trauma and helps me realize some of the mind-body connections
  2. Mom got a massage today too.
  3. The acupunture that I received this morning to help raise my theshold, get my digestion back in order, and mitigate the migraines
  4. My conversation with Mom. I'm so grateful that I was finally able to talk with her after 3 attempts.
  5. The couple that's meeting me tonight at shul, so I can go and say Kaddish for Grandma (today is shloshim), but don't have to be there alone.
  6. The services this woman is offering me helping me get organized and find people to do repairs on my place.
  7. The Alzheimer's Association is offering all of these support groups, which I haven't made it to yet, but I feel releaved just knowing that they're out there.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I'm Not Broken

  1. sunset walks on the beach
  2. phone call with PP, a reminder that I'm not alone
  3. lots of support groups out there if I need them
  4. "The Five Pennies" starring Danny Kaye
  5. how good it feels to just sit on the couch without any obligations or pressure
  6. my snuggly dog who licks away my tears

The Last Few Days

  1. *A* brought dinner over.
  2. Friends came over to watch Gilmore Girls, nice company.
  3. Connected with a few strangers, nice to have connections not so embedded. One tried to pick me up on the street and was very charming.
  4. Coming home.
  5. My dog - snuggles and kisses.
  6. My front patio now has lattice giving me a higher fence, more privacy, more beauty.